I’m only here for a moment before the human takes over. She has an important announcement to make. So, the Furred & Finned Management would like to apologize in advance for the lacking humor in this missive.
Some things are too important to make fun of. This is one of them.
Tia Majestic on behalf of the Furred & Finned Management.
Hey, Readers and Fans of the Furred & Finned Management.
The first part of this letter isn’t really a happy one. I’m sorry.
As many of you are aware, Tia the Majestic is old. She’s somewhere around seventeen, and we’re at the point in her life where we’re doing our best to make sure she’s happy and comfortable. She’s sleeping a lot now, and she has issues that make her care… expensive. Right now, she’s on medication, but she views it as a treat, and it’s helping resolve a potential bladder infection. After she’s off that round of medication, we’re going to be starting her on a medication that might help with her senility.
Growing old isn’t a disease, and there’s no cure for it. However much I wish I could turn back time, I can’t. No one can. We’re doing our best for her, but us humans of the Blain household are slowly coming to the conclusion that Tia’s time with us will be coming to an end sooner than later. We’re going to hold on for as long as she wants, but as her arthritis worsens and she loses her love of life, we’re going to have to do what’s best for her. After a lot of thought, I thought it was best to give you folks some warning. I know many of you love going on adventures with Tia the Majestic and her plump sister. I do, too. She’s been a part of our lives for around ten to eleven years now. She could surprise us and share her life with us for a few more years. The new medicine could work miracles. We don’t know.
All I can tell you is that she’s old, and she deserves to cross the rainbow bridge in comfort when the time comes.
As she’s losing weight and growing, well, old, there won’t be as many pictures of her moving forward. I want everyone to remember her as the vibrant, happy kitty she’s been portrayed for you. That’s why some of the pictures lately have been older ones. The Furred & Finned Management will keep you updated on her, but right now, she’s having more bad days than good ones. (But seriously, we’re hoping the new medication will help.) I take pictures of her whenever she’s more like her old self.
The change that warned us something’s up is a sad one: she’s stopped asking to go on walks as often, which used to be every time she’d be awake. Now, she just wants to be near us and get attention. We still take her on walks, but we’re the ones who get the harness and leash out and get her attention and remind her that there’s life outside of the apartment.
Once Tia the Majestic crosses the rainbow bridge, my husband will be picking a new kitty to keep Princess the Understudy company. Tia has, and always will be, his cat, as she was from the day he fell in love with her at the shelter. It’s probable the new kitty will take over the mantle of the Majestic Overfeline of the Furred & Finned Management. (Let’s face it, Princess is happiest being silly and playing the role of the Understudy.)
To make things more comfortable for Tia, pictures won’t be taken as often, as she’s less inclined to enjoy having the phone pointed at her. She’s forgotten what the magic glowy rectangle box does, and it takes some coaxing to make her okay with it pointed in her general direction. Right now, she had some of her fur shaved because she was unable to properly groom her back (arthritis sucks, y’all.) Once her fur grows back some, I’ll work with her some more and see if she’ll tolerate the camera.
And yes, for those wondering, Tia the Majestic is given supplements to help with the arthritis. Some days are better than others, but we can generally tell if she’s having a bad day based on whether or not she’s game for a longer walk, which involves stairs. On the good days, she zooms right down them like nothing. On bad ones, well, she makes it down two before she’s carried the rest of the way.)
I wanted to thank you all for sharing some of the fun we’ve had with our kitty over the past year. You, and her, have made the writing gig a much happier place for me.
The Furred and Finned Management will still be sending newsletters, they’ll still be up to their same old shenanigans, but Princess the Understudy will be taking up most of the responsibility along with Landen and Desmond the fish. On the fish front, Landen is fully recovered, his fins have completely grown back, and he is loving life. Of course, the little bastard has been flaring at his new brother so much his fins are ragged, but he’s as happy as can be and whatever. If the jerk wants to blow his fins out playing with his brother, whatever. I have a fortune of fish-care supplies handy, and they’re happy doing their fishy thing.
The next newsletter will have pictures of the two sharing their prison and keeping each other energetic company. (Seriously, these two assholes just DO NOT STOP.)
I named Desmond well. The little shit is just small enough he can reach through the divider and nip the fringe of Landen’s tail, which sends Landen zooming across his section of the tank all offended the little shit actually nipped him. It’s an absolute riot to watch. I’m pretty sure Desmond is a boy, as he wants nothing more in life than the beat the shit out of his big brother.
This fish has spunk.
The format of the newsletter will be changing. The sneaky kitty critic website will become the hub of all things Furred & Finned Management, and the newsletters will be posted there first. (You can subscribe to the website itself by leaving a comment and checking the box that authorizes the Furred & Finned Management and wordpress to notify you when new posts are done!) At least… that’s how I think it’s done?
I need to really figure that out.
The content of the main newsletters will still be going out to the mailing list, but it’ll be a copy-paste of what’s found on the website, and generally, the newsletter will just point you to the site and have a text-only version and maybe one or two pictures as the Furred & Finned Management decide. The humor, moving forward, will still be present. It’s just a matter of how it’s delivered. So, please bookmark thesneakykittycritic.com in your browser of choice, subscribe to the site by leaving a comment if you wish, and otherwise be ready for more shenanigans.
Yeah, I’ll keep this short, as honestly, I just don’t have the heart to act like a salesperson of any sort today, and as soon as I’m done with this, I need to haul tail on Cheetahs Never Win so it gets to my editor on time. I have 13 days to write 100,000 words. Go ahead and laugh now. I’m laughing. It’s a strained laughter. But I’m definitely laughing. Ignore those tears in my eyes. Nooooo problem.
That leads me to ch-ch-change number whatever the fuck it is: After No Kitten Around, Blending In, and Cheetahs Never Win release, the next preorder I do will be Grave Humor on May 16, my birthday book for 2019. The art of staggering preorders, frankly, annoys the hell out of me, so you’re going to be getting books as they’re finished. I will be staggering releases by 3-5 weeks as a general rule, so if I happen to finish a bunch of slider projects at one time, I will hold back a title for a short period of time to give you lovely peeps a chance to read the latest new release first.
The only time I’ll violate this is if I feel like it, which could be at any time without notification. I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m really not.
Most of the Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) books are now available on Google Play, for those of you who like that vendor. I’m adding one a day as time allows.
Playing with Fire and Whatever for Hire have new covers. Hoofin’ It and Serial Killer Princess will have new covers soon. Null and Void will have a new cover soon. The entire Dae Portals series will have new covers soon.
I’m moving into audiobooks and the original cover artist for these titles is no longer in the business. It was cheaper to get new covers than it was to attempt to get rights to the art files, so these covers will be retired. As a result, the Witch & Wolf series will also be rebranded. Inquisitor and Silver Bullet will have their new covers later this week. As the new Witch & Wolf covers are prepared, I’ll be releasing these titles to Google Play as well.
In good news, there will be audiobooks in the future. I’ve already signed a contract for the Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) series, and these will be releasing between now and July 2019.
Huntress will also be coming to audiobook soonish.
I’m not sure if I’ll do audiobooks for the Witch & Wolf series yet. The series doesn’t sell all that well, but I am having the audiobook covers made in case I decide there’s enough interest to warrant having the audiobooks made. I’ll see how the books sell after the cover rebranding.
Current book order for sending to the editor is Cheetahs Never Win (Due the 22nd,) Blood Bound, Storm Called, and Steel Heart. Storm Called is written but needs to be typed. Blood Bound is like a quarterish done. Don’t ask about Cheetahs Never Win. Something about it due in 13ish days to the artist. 12. Crap. 12. AHHHHH. If I count today, 13. Fuck.
Just don’t ask about the magnet disaster with the accidental phallic symbol drawn onto Playing with Fire’s new cover.
I’d cry, but honestly, I’m too busy laughing over it.