My human is ill. The plague has come for her, and I have been ruling over her with an iron paw. So far, it appears she’s contracted a case of death, doom, and decomposition.
Wait, what? She’s still alive? Damn it, FOILED.
I just have dry eyes, and my evil human female put in my artificial tears, so I leaked a little. Really. It’s all good. And we won’t talk about my dirty nose, okay?
In other news, the human has plopped into her new contemporary romance adventure with glee. She also wrote the description while sick, so I expect I’ll have to break it to her eventually she needs to rewrite it when she’s no longer dying from the plague.
What? You want to know what the book is about? Okay, okay, geeze, humans… But seriously, you humans really need to know what the book is about? That seems unfair. I mean, okay, but you should just go buy the books anyway because then I get more treats.
Here you go. Really. Here’s the description:
Working as a mall elf is Chloe Mitchell’s worst nightmare, but when her best friend calls in a favor, she’s forced to face her Claustrophobia—of the Santa variety—head on.
Unbeknownst to her, Santa Claus has her in his sights, and he’s determined to make sure she finally has the happy holidays he believes she deserves.
Now, my sister has something to say to you humans… and it’s pretty funny. Okay, it’s a lot funny. The human didn’t find it funny, though. The human is silly, though.
Princess here. While we aren’t really sure about Sophia’s species, we’re all in on this. It’s a book where parents sit with their kids and help Sophia write a story! I was skeptical at first, but then I decided to sink my teeth into this one, and while I found the book tasted oddly strange, I had a good time.
I’m still not sure why the human took my copy of the book away, but I left my (teeth)marks on it! Bwahahahaaa!
Now that I’ve done my job, it’s cold, my self-warming cat bed awaits, and I need to rest after viciously leaving my (teeth)marks on Sophia Wants to Write a Book.
Tia here again. Please (somewhat) ignore my sister. She’s lost her furry mind. Before we go away and leave you to your happy holiday reading, we have a few things to give you!
#1: there’s this badass science fiction and fantasy book bundle up for grabs to one lucky winner. (This ends on December 14, 2018.)
#2: my human is doing a giveaway for a kindle oasis. You can join here. (It ends December 10 at midnight ESTish or something like that.)
Last but not least, Cheetahs Never Win releases on January 2, 2018. Please ignore any odd emails Amazon sent you. We have no idea why Amazon decided to get into my stash of catnip and go on a bender. (We have no control over Amazon’s odd ways.)
We hope you all have a super happy holidays, humans!