AKA: a Guide to some things written by RJ Blain.
First, and most importantly, I’m adorable so you should love me. This picture of me playing with one of my favorite toys in the human’s bookcase is all of the evidence I need to back this statement. Look at my beautiful ears! My blurry head! (Hey, what were you expecting? A clear picture of me while I’m playing? Hah!) My pristine white fur! I’m gorgeous.
Please ignore anything the parental unit of the human states. I’m beautiful.
Now that you have been given a chance to admire my beguiling tyrant self, It is time to discuss (and enjoy) all things books!
We’ve been getting messages asking for a comprehensive list, in one place, of all of the human’s books, reading orders, etc. I’m (somewhat) lazy, but I thought, well, if I’m going to do this, I will review the human’s books!
But only the Mag Rom Coms, because I am a cat and just do not have the attention span or willpower to do this for all of the books.
What? I’m a cat. Seriously. I’m a cat. You’re lucky if I get done two of these before I head off for a nap.
We’ll have a great time. Promise.
Honestly, I’m not sure you will have a great time, but I will enjoy scratching holes into the human’s souuuuuul.
Please note the first four novels and three novellas of the Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) series are available as a boxed set for $0.99. (And next week, the human will be doing a major advertising drive on the book. But you’re totally welcome to grab it now if you don’t have a copy.)
The series starter is Playing with Fire, and is the first book in all regards.
It’s a flaming mess of unicorns, savagery, more unicorns, a man too sexy for his own good, and some more unicorns. The unicorn breathes fire and views odd things as food. She also has enough self-esteem issues to keep an entire mental institution busy, too.
You may choose to read this series in any order you bloody like, you beautiful bastards! But next in the list in chronological order is, ironically, Burn, Baby, Burn. This is the direct sequel to Playing with Fire.
What? It takes place like four-ish months after Playing with Fire. What? This is a series of interconnected standalones, and they do NOT connect logically!!!!!
The human sucks.
My review of Burn, Baby, Burn: Dump it in the cat box. I’ll pee on it! The human has been spending more time with this steaming pile of flaming unicorns than with me!
The human likes this book a lot, though. So I guess I won’t pee on it until it’s in print. But she better watch out. I have it in my sights.
Next up is Hoofin’ It. It released second. You can read this one at any time. The human needs to be taken out back and tickled into submission for this one. I mean, really? Miniature demonic llamas? Why would anyone write about corpses falling onto vehicles containing miniature demonic llamas?
She needs help, y’all.
P.S.: I have slept on a copy of this book, and I found it to be a pleasant experience.
An event in Hoofin’ It is subtly mentioned in Last but not Leashed. Maybe No Kitten Around, too. Us felines (and probably the human) don’t remember. One of those, however, has reference. It’s in there somewhere. You can view this as fun scavenger hunt! Go scavenge!
Next up is Hearth, Home, and Havoc, the first Mag Rom Com novella. (It’s in the Starter Pack.)
Dead squirrel. Sink. Dead, wet squirrel flung at wall accompanied with screaming. Do you really need to know anything else about this novella??
I didn’t think so. Anytime dead, wet flying tree rats happen, life’s good.
This one gets two paws up, but the human gets a scratch because it’s too short and the squirrel doesn’t come back from the dead to kill humanity.
Does that count as a spoiler? Whatever. I’m a cat. I don’t care.
Seriously? You’re still here? You beautiful, beautiful bastards.
If you enjoy bacon, you will like Serial Killer Princess. However, initial studies indicate that some people become oddly uncomfortable that they, who strongly dislike snakes, find themselves oddly liking a specific snake.
The human is not sorry, and I have scratched her on your behalf. And chewed on her fingers. You’re welcome.
P.S.: Seriously, if you like bacon, you’ll enjoy this. Bacon is life. It’s also the vanquisher of human teeth. (Yes, that’s right. The human literally lost a tooth to a piece of bacon.)
She’s now mad at me. What? Stupid human. I’m just telling the truth.
There is a very, very subtle reference to Serial Killer Princess in Fowl Play.
We of the Blain Household can’t remember if the glories of Serial Killer Princess were referenced elsewhere in the series or not. Oops?
If you love bacon, hot Scottish firemen who rescue soppy wet puppies and kittens, and cats, Whatever for Hire is the abso-fucking-lutely best book on the planet and I’m totally biased.
Any time a cat taunts Lord Satin of Hell, it is a good day. A really good and funny day.
Whatever for Hire is in the $0.99 sales set, too. Because my human is absolutely beloved and amazing (Oh, oh, is that the treat jar I see?)
Let it be known the female has bribed me to say nice things about her. I have accepted the bribe.
I won’t be saying nice things about her.
~Zazzle the Beguiling Tyrant
Next up is a novella. It’s a hoot. Owl Be Yours is also in the set of cheapness, and it’s great. Like, it has an owl in it. A murderous owl with a desire to use a mulcher (aka wood chipper) in new and interesting ways.
And, in the interest of never hearing this damned rant from a human again, if you lose your identification and your bank card, and you are unwilling to go to the local authorities to have them reissued, you’re fucked and will be unable to withdraw money from the bank.
This is a real issue, folks. And when your house burns down with all your stuff inside, you no longer have access to a check book.
From the department of things the human rants about.
Also from the department of ‘has had purse stolen in the past and needed to get all those things replaced, welcome to hell.’
Since novellas are the cat’s meow, Fowl Play is up to bat next. It’s about a swan lycanthrope with doesn’t perform Swan Lake. Her dad is a lycanthrope, her mom is a succubus, and her other mom is an angel. Shenanigans and insanity happen.
This contains and an amusing bar bust story.
Because I’m a cruel and vicious being, AKA a cat, if you want to hear my thoughts on the rest of the Mag Rom Com series, you’ll just have to visit me later.
The human needs the computer to finish this book so her editor doesn’t murder her. Or something like that.
Excuse me while I roll my eyes.
~Zazzle the Beguiling Tyrant