We call the male the Beard because he has a fluffy chin. He has safely returned. However, he is not providing food like males should, and the female is whining because she’s hungry. World might be ending. (World also might be ending because she was up at Dark Thirty to make sure the Beard was awake to go to the airport on time.
Here is a picture of some tasty treats the Beard acquired for the female when she was dealing with a doctor’s appointment. Tasty treats are tasty, and she doesn’t let us felines have any. Rude!
As I’m a thieving cat, I have stolen an unedited snippet from The Run Around for your enjoyment.
From Chapter One of The Run Around
A sensible woman would’ve been honored to be her future sister-in-law’s maid of honor, as it implied cordial relationships or some sort of bullshit like that. I knew better.
I made an excellent scapegoat.
As the wedding party’s weakest link, everyone expected me to trip on my dress, maybe break an ankle along with my neck, or spill the entire wine fountain onto the floor. My brother claimed he loved me, but I believed he’d been the one to spread the rumor I was the world’s clumsiest woman.
When I secured my revenge, it would be sweet.
But first, I needed to survive my brother’s wedding without being responsible for a single hiccup. Playing to my brother’s misconceptions, I’d spent months tripping over nothing on purpose so I could transform myself into the image of traditional beauty and grace.
I’d even lost twenty pounds so my dress would fit.
The wedding would be a disaster, but I would emerge from the chaos smelling like roses, red wine, and garlic bread. Honestly, I doubted the wedding would make it to the reception.
Some weddings had bridezillas. We had a thoroughbride, and if she got it into her head to run, I wished my brother the best of luck catching her before she fled the church. My proposal to have the wedding on a yacht, where my brother’s thoroughbride couldn’t escape, hadn’t earned me any points with anyone.
The bride hated the ocean.
My brother was smart enough to catch onto my implication.
It wasn’t my fault Amy wasn’t exactly the most reliable woman in the world when it came to marriage. Once was a fluke. Twice was a trend. Five was evidence the thoroughbride would strike again, and my dear old brother would be saddled with the fifty thousand dollar bill, as he refused to believe Amy would run out on him.
Oh, no. Amy would never run out on him.
The Run Around releases in April, and it’s available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Apple Books. It’s also officially the longest of the Bernadette Franklin books, and it’s quickly becoming an out-of-control monster. Oops.
The female, as always, is blaming Juliette.