Blood Bound’s Release delayed until January 28, 2020.

Dear humans,

I almost gave my human the power of time travel, releasing Blood Bound in 2010 instead of 2020. That would’ve been quite the feat!

Being serious, though. The female? She is stressed, tired, more tired, a little more stressed, and add in some other things relating to anxiety and depression.

First, she wanted me to express her gratitude for all of the well wishes and support from the fans who helped salvage Bonds’s release. While she’s still sad over the opening day snafus, she’s accepted shit happens and will just continue as usual… with a caveat.

She’s making some changes to be better for her sanity, worse for her bank account.

The male has decreed a few things. First, she is being forced to take a week off after Ginger Snapped is to the editor. She can only write her 15 minutes a day project and if she reaaalllyyy wants to. Otherwise, she’ll have to play video games! Paint things! Maybe explore the world of the Burning Daystar!

He also talked her into the Apple product she had talked herself out of. (It arrives today, and it will be amazing.)

He also set her loose on Amazon with a big budget so she can get art supplies. She has watercolors because they were cheap, but she really, really sucks at watercolors. She has an affinity with acrylics.

$300 later, the female understands the yarn people–and she has budget left if she needs more things. The male has a look of horror in his eyes, as he realizes he has summoned the Elder God(dess) of destruction into his home in the form of art supplies.

So, back to business. Why was Blood Bound the one chosen to be delayed?

A few reasons. First, the book is a quarter done, it’s a beloved project, and while there are fans from the Fantasy Worlds of RJ Blain group who direly want it, it’s basically an unknown entity. To the 24 people who’d preordered on wide vendors, we’re so very sorry! It’s coming. It’s just taking the hit for the human’s sanity.

We really hope you love the book when it comes out, but the female is trying to love herself, and the husband is okay with having to be the primary breadwinner again for the next six or so months while the female just tries to enjoy life and work for a change rather than focusing so much on being a good household contributor.

She thinks everything will explode if she stops hitting her benchmarks month to month.

The male had to sit down, point at the bank account, and remind the female she’s nuts and mathematically deficient. You see, in the female’s mind, due to having had weeks of her life where her and her male only had $5 for a week to feed themselves…. she never wants to be back in those dire straits again.

She gets upset if the bank account doesn’t have a year of no money from either person in it. The bank account doesn’t have that in it right now.

However, she forgot the male has a rainy day account, which… has basically more than a year of survival in it. (The rainy day account is the ‘we forget it exists’ employment bonus account husband has from his employer. Apple takes good care of its peoples.)

Husband bought her a present, set her loose on Amazon to buy art supplies (her current favorite affordable manufacture had manufacturer coupons on the Amazon!) and told her to sit down, be good, and take the next six months to be sane.

Female is terrified things will go to hell in a hand basket, but the male is chill.

That’s where things are at.

Ginger Snapped will release on November 6 as scheduled, and Steel Heart will release on December 25 as scheduled.

Grave Humor: A Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) will release on May 16, 2020. Preorders for wide vendors will go live as soon as the female figures out the book’s description. Amazon preorders will go live March 2020. Or 90 days before May 16, 2020. Amazon doesn’t let indies do preorders longer than 90 days.

There are no guarantees outside of this, but A Chip on her Shoulder: A Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) will be worked on after Steel Heart. It will be done when it is done, and that is that.

Thank you for your understanding.

Why does release week matter so much to authors?

Dear human,

Do you like my collection of toys? I do! My human recently gathered all of my pretty toys and put them in a pile for me so I can pick out the ones I like best. Of course, I like my balls with feathers the best. Sometimes, she’s a nice human and puts them on my tree for me so I can bat them off and show them who the real boss is.

Now that I have covered the truly important things in life, my human asked me to address something because some fans are uncertain or confused on why she puts so much stock into release week.

Bonds isn’t doing all that well, truth be told. On its release day, some folks opted to leave negative reviews. The first 24 hours of a book release are super important.

It’s when the author gets a magical moment to potentially reach a bunch of new readers.

These negative reviews slaughtered sales and made her sad. She didn’t read them. She saw the book had a 3.5* or worse rating and decided she just couldn’t deal with it. She had other things to do, and there’s nothing she could do about it anyway.

See, authors rely on readers to leave reviews, and my human doesn’t do ARC reviews. After she had two books stolen pre-release and pirated, resulting in both books releasing at a major loss, she refuses to put her livelihood at stake again like that.

Books are expensive to produce. Audiobooks are even more expensive to produce. At release, the preorders for Bonds weren’t quite enough to cover all of the book’s expenses. The sales it picked up on release day got it to the point of breaking even.

The negative reviews lost the human the golden hour of new readership, which is when Amazon and the book retail gods show favor on new releases. (And perhaps Prime Day didn’t help, but it’s relative; things like Prime Day hit everyone equally, so the human looks at sales ranks to help determine if she’s the one who sucked at books or if all authors took a hit from Prime Day.)

After evaluating the situation, looking at ranks, and comparing past performance of different books, she decided that the main kick was the loss of new readers, which is something she would usually have assuming the book either had no reviews or a strong collection of verified new reviews.

Here’s how it works:

Amazon gives a small boost to ranks, the boost being related to the number of preorders the book gotten. The better the preorder cycle, the bigger the boost. This makes the book more visible on the website.

The author then tells everyone the book is out.

Sites like Bookbub will also send notices to readers that the book is out.

Amazon, too, will send notices that the book has released.

These notices help the book sell better, which in turn makes the book more visible on Amazon.

When negative reviews take over a book on release day, Bookbub, Amazon, and the author’s notices become less effective. In addition to this, the new readers will pass on a book with a poor rating. The rankings are the highest on release day, so when the book takes a hard hit due to negative reviews, it’s essentially screwed.

Books can recover from a flop like this, but it usually requires advertising dollars.

Here’s the blunt truth:

Because the human has committed to writing three gamble books, being Ginger Snapped, Blood Bound, and Steel Heart, she really couldn’t afford to have Bonds fail.

Bonds has failed. It’s barely making a profit–a profit that she was relying on to help pay the bills.

Blood Bound probably won’t do too well; it’s a potential series starter that’ll be presented as a standalone with the option for expansion if it does well. The human is expecting to break even but not much more than that.

Steel Heart is the sequel to Water Viper. Water Viper is 2 years old, and it has made $9,000 over its entire lifespan. The majority of the money was made up in the past few months thanks to other advertising efforts–and is the reason Steel Heart was even considered for a slot this year. (That plus the human wants to keep her promises and hates that the sequel has been delayed for so long.)

Unfortunately, trying to give Steel Heart a leg to stand on, the female recently spent almost $2,000 on advertising efforts on Water Viper to get the book boosted. It didn’t work. Flush, flush, flush. That’s all right. But she figured out she just can’t do traditional advertising on this series. It doesn’t work.

She has to hope fans spread the world, pawn it off on their fans, and otherwise grow it organically.

The problem with organic growth is that it is slow growth.

Had she written Steel Heart immediately after Water Viper released, it would have flopped, and there would be zero chance for the series to continue. Waiting and giving the first book a chance to get a following was in the best interest of the series and the author. Seriously.

But releasing it now is still a gamble. At current, there are a maximum of
4,714 readers of Water Viper. While Water Viper was available in KU, there’s no way to tell how many readers actually finished the book. If I assume that it was 1,000 KU pages and that every person fully read the book, there’s an additional 1,400 readers of the book. That’s 5,714 maximum readers.

(Because few people are going to buy a brand new continuation of a series without getting the first book, and the human’s efforts to spread the first book have been a wash.)

Using the read-through percentages of other series, it’s a safe bet that Steel Heart will bring in fewer than 1,000 readers unless everyone just loved the book and must have it.

Realistically, that just isn’t going to happen.

So, what does 1,000 sales mean for Steel Heart?

It means the author makes $4,102 for spending two months of her life frantically writing the book, editing the book, etc. Editing costs for the book will be approximately $1,200. Cover art was $300 for the digital version. Another $150ish for print editions. So, of that $4,102, she’ll have $2,452 as earnings for two months of work.

This is why she held off so long working on Steel Heart. When she releases a book, she relies on the money to pay the bills–and pay her upkeep from the time she spent writing the book.

Her goal is to make minimum wage for the period of time it took her to write the book.

That’s $2,400 a month where she lives.

So, she’s expecting to take a month’s earning as a hit after release week on Steel Heart.

That’s what she means when she says a project is “a labor of love.” It’s something she’s paying for out of her pocket without expectation of it earning back in its critical first week of release.

Writing for a living requires the author to balance projects she loves and wants to write and making a living.

Bonds was supposed to help fill in the gaps for losing the income expected from Steel Heart.

Bonds worked out a little like this:

$5,100 total earnings.

$600 editing. $300 cover art. $50 cover art. $30 audiobook cover art. $60 for copyright fees. Expecting $2,000 in audiobook expenses. That’s $3,010 out of the $5,100. The human has taken $600 out of Bonds’ earnings to pay for Pat’s novella, Taken, as she otherwise wouldn’t be able to produce it: That’s another $600 between cover art and editorial fees. So, that becomes $3,610. she spent almost two months on Bonds, as she was also working on other projects. She estimates it would’ve taken her a month and a half because of the amount of research involved in writing the book. She’s been working on the project since March, and had dedicated almost the entirety of late May and June to the project.

So, we’ll call it a month and a half to write, which is fairly accurate. That’s $3,600 if she were to be paid minimum wage for the time spent working on the book.

That would mean she’d have to earn back $7,210 to be pulling her weight with that title.

She’s calling it breaking even because she did earn back all expenses and a little towards the bills. Not enough to justify working on Steel Heart, Blood Bound, and Ginger Snapped, though.

And thus her disappointment–and the realization that she has to slip in a money-making project between now and the end of the year to cover all the lost earnings from doing projects that won’t pull their weight.

She’s working on advertising as usual, but that costs money and is, like everything else, a gamble.

But as a reader, that really isn’t your problem. It’s hers.

But it’s why she chooses what she writes. She can’t afford to subsidize fan-favorites that won’t earn enough to pay the bills. Us kitties would pay the price. So would her spouse. So would she.

Money does matter. She needs to earn the equivalent of minimum wage to keep her household going. That’s just fact.

This is her full-time job.

Ultimately, the fault is with her. She didn’t write a book readers loved enough to review early and buy out of the gate.

That’s the start. That’s the end. But she can’t afford to write even more books that won’t sell. She’s going to write Ginger Snapped, Steel Heart, and Blood Bound because she made those commitments, but she can’t afford to write any other books that won’t pay the rent for a while.

And that means series will be cut, ruthlessly, to ‘labor of love’ status, and one each year will get chosen unless a book has a serious windfall and can pay her rent and bills for multiple months while she bleeds money for the sake of art.

And that’s what a lot of authors do: they bleed money for the sake of their art.

But there is always a point where the author has to go, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Cold Flame is not going to be written as schedule. It might be 2021 or later until another Susan Copperfield book is written after Taken/Beginnings is released.

She can’t afford to take another labor of love hit for the pen name. She just can’t.

So, unless the series organically takes off, that’s that. It will go to play project only status, written on the side in ten to fifteen minute chunks, late at night when she really just wants to revisit the Royal States of America.

She just can’t afford to take the extra hits right now.

But, the series could organically take off. That’s always possible–and should it, she’ll reevaluate during her next scheduling session, which will happen in January 2020, after she releases the three books currently up for preorder.

A lot could change between now and then.

For the moment, she will hold her breath and hope that she can get a Bookbub for some other books between now and the end of the year. Hypnos has a bookbub for July 26, but she doesn’t expect much; she’s investing the $500 on that to build the fanbase so that Achlys and Day of Reckoning have the best chance of being successful.

She really hopes those books do well, because the Seeking the Zodiacs series is one of her absolute favorites, and she wants it to do well. But she didn’t push through to Achlys right away for the same reason she gave Steel Heart space.

Too early, and the book won’t earn enough to carry its weight–and that’s the death sentence of a series.

If you’re asking what you can do to help, it really boils down to this:

Early reviews make or break books. Early sales make or break books. Telling your friends when sales come up is hugely helpful, as it breathes a chance of a new life into an otherwise dying series.

But this is the human’s day job, and she does have to pay the books, so no matter how much she loves a book or a series… she can’t afford to keep writing books that don’t sell.

Being blunt, should the next few books fail to do anything productive, she won’t have the money to keep writing, because she can’t subsidize labors of love forever, and that does ultimately mean she’ll have to quit and find a job that will pay the bills.

Don’t ask for the Furred & Fronds opinion on people who leave negative reviews because they’re upset the author didn’t write the book they wanted. We would be forced to say unpleasant things.

Thank you for your time, and here’s hoping things turn around. Right now, we’re expecting four losses in a row, and if the fifth book is a bust, too… well, the human will have to brush up on her resume and go ‘find a real job’ as so many do like to say.

And that’s just life.

~From the Department of This Glass is Definitely Half Empty.

Side Note: Why do you expect Ginger Snapped to be a bust? Here’s why:

Shammed has earned $3,293.36.
Claustrophobic has earned $2,732.78.

Bernadette Franklin novels are labors of love, and she doesn’t expect them to be anything other than that. They’re fun fluff. She loves writing them–but they don’t do much more than pay for themselves after a few months of being on sale. (To give you an idea, Shammed barely squeaked by earning back its expenses after a month of being on sale.)

But that’s fine. She writes them because she loves them, not because she actually expects them to earn money.

But after Ginger Snapped is done? No Bernadette Franklin novel will be getting the lion’s share of time unless they start seriously pulling their own weight, and most will be written as 15 Minute a Day projects paid for out of the author’s pocket because she loves them. No other reason.

Thanks for listening.

Edit note: corrected a number in the post.

Bonds by Susan Copperfield has released–plus a $0.99 sale on Hypnos!

Greetings, human!

Welcome to the jungle.

Bonds has released, hooray! It is $4.99 and is available at most major retailers. Paperback versions are also available, but you may have to do a search specifically for paperback.

We hope you enjoy the book. The audiobook version has been booked with the actor/producer, but it will take time. Storm Called needs to be produced first. (It’s already underway.)

About the Book:

In the Royal States of America, magic rules all, but life—and love—always finds a way.

When a sinking oil tanker threatens to destroy the picturesque coastline of France, search and rescue diver Jack Alders and his waveweaving talent stand between France and a record-breaking oil spill.

But what Jack finds on board the dying ship will forever change the course of the Royal States and puts him in the sights of a royal tyrant out for blood.

Happy book birthday, Bonds!

In other news, Hypnos is currently available for $0.99. This sale will end of July 28, 2019. If you like the Seeking the Zodiac series, now is the time to make sure all of your friends know about the sale and encourage them to grab a copy.

The human will be working on Achlys and Day of Reckoning in the first quarter of 2020. Expect May 2020 for one or both to release. (It’ll be a surprise.)

About Hypnos:

Following the devastation of World War III, nuclear radiation has spawned magic, ranging from nuisance koppa oni plaguing the Golden Gate to masters of the elements. It falls to the FBI’s supernatural quads and their supervisors to protect those who can’t protect themselves.

But when a mysterious force storms through a busy shopping center and fells everyone in its wake, Olivia Abrams and her team of special ops must find who is behind the attack and why before the entirety of San Francisco succumbs to its powers.

Don’t tell the human this, but we totally intend to steal the detective in the book. He’s ours, and nobody can have him! The human can borrow him only long enough to continue writing the series.

New Audiobook Releases in the Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) Series!

Hooray, humans! The audiobooks for the Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) series are underway, and there are two new releases for your enjoyment!

Since audiobooks are new to us of the Furred & Frond Management, I will list all the ones currently available!

Playing with Fire: The original Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) novel!

Hearth, Home, and Havoc: One of the human’s favorite little fun stories that starts with a dead squirrel in a sink.

Serial Killer Princess: Who doesn’t love a psychotic serial killer of serial killers? Come on, Tulip is great.

Fowl Play: Ballet with a Swan without the Swan Lake. (Because why go for low-lying fruit?)

Last but not Leashed: Dale is such an adorable werewuff.

Audiobooks Coming Soon:

  • Owl Be yours
  • Whatever for Hire
  • Cheetahs Never Win
  • Huntress (Royal States, Susan Copperfield)

I’ll just leave you with a hint of what the human will be seriously up to in the later portion of the year. Also, this…

Expect two Seeking the Zodiac stories to come out in 2020, the prequel and the second novel. They’ll be written side-by-side, so you can get a look at Olivia during World War III. The human thought it would be fun.

The human likes fun. A lot.

Audiobook editions of Achlys and Day of Reckoning will release shortly after the novels. (It takes time for the audio to be produced, but they’re booked as soon as the manuscript is finalized.)

Have a good day, everyone!

Also, the next book new book to release will be Susan Copperfield’s Bonds, set in the Royal States world. Beginnings, which includes the first five novels, will be coming out soon. Expect a hardback edition eventually, assuming the female can figure out how to make it fit the page count restrictions.

And that’s all she wrote, folks!

Due to an unknown water maintenance issue in building, the Finned Management passed away.

Dear humans,

The female is breathing fire while also sad. Fish are delicate creatures, and when living in an apartment complex, stuff sometimes happens. This week, the stuff was some chemical or contaminant in the apartment’s water system.

Safe enough for humans, lethal for fish. All of her fish passed away within several days of each other following their last water change. (It was not illness; she immediately started medicinal treatments at the first symptom, which did mimic an actual fish illness. But then the psychological symptoms kicked in, which made it clear it was likely a toxicological reason for their sickness.)

Until she can figure out a solution to the changes in the water supply, which are still toxic for fishies, she will be adding a plant to the team, and we will, moving forward, become the Furred & Frond Management.

We expect the plant to be a mouthy little asshole, although we’e hopeful it won’t rise up from its pot to kill us all.

As someone asked this on facebook, I’d like to take a moment to address how fish, human-potable water, and toxicology works.

What’s safe for humans to drink is often not safe for fish. For example, fish require minerals and nutrients in the water we don’t necessarily require as we can get it from other sources. (This is also why fish in low-water areas may develop a major buildup of mercury! They absorb a lot from the water.)

Chlorine, in particular, is something humans tolerant post treatment but fish absolutely cannot. (Fish keepers have special chemicals we use to keep their water chlorine and heavy metal clean! And yes, they were receiving this at every water change.)

To human eyes, nose, and tongue, there had been no changes to the water.

But something was in the water, something the treatments to clean their water for them didn’t address.

In the fish world, this is also known as a “Well, shit!”

(The female been raising fish since she was old enough to walk, and “Well, shit!” moments have littered her entire life. I’m sad, because these were pets the female was responsible for, but it wasn’t her fault. She changed nothing, and the treatments and conditioners can only do so much. This is life, and life blows sometimes.)

The female is trying to decide what sort of plant she wishes to terrorize now, but she’s considering getting an LED plant light and a bonsai.

Happy Book Birthday, Burn, Baby, Burn!

Dear humans,

It’s out! It’s finally out! Bailey & Quinn’s adventures continue in Burn, Baby, Burn: a Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count.)

Grab your copy now! You know you want it. It has shenanigans and napalm.

You know you want it.

Be a star! A purple star, like the one on this little ad! Be a sttaaarr! Also, read today.

When the book does well, I get extra treats! This is evidenced by the four huge tubs of temptations the human ordered this week! They arrived yesterday.

We have to finish our current tub, but she got us four flavors! We’re loved! We’re loved!

She also got me new balls! But she isn’t letting me have them yet. Apparently, it’s her birthday on Thursday and not mine, so I have to wait to receive my new balls until my birthday, which is in mid June. But I saw them! I’m getting ten new balls for my birthday!

And, to help convince you that you really want to get this book, here is a new snippet for your enjoyment!

The universe hated me. A light dusting of snow ensured the roads would be hell by the time we escaped New York. I barely eased Quinn’s convertible to a halt before Perkette slid into the vehicle, wrinkling her nose. Since she knew I wouldn’t even think about putting the vehicle into gear until she buckled up, she grabbed her seatbelt and clipped it into place.

“This officially sucks,” she announced.

“Good thing we’re headed to Vegas, then. Does Vegas ever get cold?” I hoped not. I already shivered, and I had the heat in the convertible blasting.

“Hell if I know. Think you can handle some snow as a unicorn?”

“Will it kill me? No. Will I kill you for making me? Very probably. Someone better be dying before I deal with snow as a unicorn.”

The Furred & Finned Management hopes you enjoyed the little teaser! For those who have already gotten Burn, Baby, Burn, thank you! You rock and are made of awesome.

As the female likes to say, Happy Reading, folks!

News, a Teaser, and Audiobook things…

It’s official. The female is a filthy liar. She signed a contract this week to have Storm Called turned into an audiobook. It should be produced and releasing later this year. But, it’s getting done despite her saying hell no.

She has also signed a contract for Burn, Baby, Burn, Blending In, and Hypnos. She figured if she’s going to go in, she may as well go all in and see what happens. Maybe good things?

Audiobooks, dear human, are vexing to the female and wrought with peril.

But she’s doing them.

Last but not Leashed is the next audiobook project scheduled to release, and it should be within a month. We’ll be upfront about this, humans: there were issues with this one. As it’s unprofessional to go into the nature of the issues, we’re just going to leave it at that and hope for the best.

We have a new male narrator for the Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) series, and we hope this makes everything move forward better in the future.

Onto the teaser! This is from Burn, Baby, Burn, which releases next week. We think all of the humans should preorder, as when the female celebrates, we get extra love and a lot of treats. We like treats, so we need to make sure she celebrates extra next week.

We demand treats, humans.


My phone beeped, and I glanced at the device. While Bailey often messaged me to reassure herself, she usually waited longer than ten minutes. Our morning routine hadn’t changed; she’d crawled out of bed with the same general liveliness of a half-dead slug while I’d kept a close eye on her until she finished her shower. Rewarding her with kisses for restoring her base ability to function had earned me a hefty dose of her contentment.

All in all, she’d been more energetic than usual.

“You may as well pull over, Sam. I know that’s Bailey’s text tone. If you don’t, you’ll fret.”

Some days, partnering with Perkins gave me a headache. “Why am I driving you to work again?”

“Tiffany wanted to move to Queens, I don’t have a cruiser today, and she wanted the car. As you’re so compassionate—and you didn’t want me to be late getting to work—you agreed to drive me in. Just pull over before she calls—or decides to take the convertible for a joy ride and tail you today.”

She would. She’d done it twice, and it amazed me that my car had survived. The third time, I’d endured her at her worst, running around a late fall Manhattan on four hooves, determined to make certain I stayed out of trouble. Cindercorns didn’t handle cold weather well, and she’d about scared the life out of me after reversing back to human. It had taken hours for her to warm back up, and she’d suffered from symptoms of hypothermia for several days before recovering.

Her ability to attract catastrophe sent me to work early to do a sweep of the neighborhood. I never found any trouble, but I felt better for putting in the effort. Once I checked to make certain I couldn’t see the house, I pulled into someone’s driveway to check my phone.

A ten item wish list waited for me, and every request puzzled me. “I love my wife, but she’s a little weird sometimes, Perkins.”

~ Wasn’t that little tidbit fun? But, I do think Quinn is deserving of an understatement of the year award. Sometimes is not the word I would have used there, Mr. Quinn.

‘All of the time’ or ‘she’s breathing, so she’s weird’ would work. Also, we of the Furred & Finned Management fully believe Quinn needs to check the dictionary for the meaning of the world ‘little.’

As for other news, the female is diving into the cave of doom and destruction to work on Bonds.

She will also be scheming how to make the fun little Vampire book do its thing.

Last but not least, the Furred & Finned Management would like to take a moment to inform you the world did not end, books did not magically sell in vast quantities overnight, and that life seems exactly as she left it yesterday despite USA Today listing.

(We knew this would happen. We are just confirming for the curious out there.)

Have a great day, humans! We must now force the human to do some actual work and write books. If she doesn’t, we’d have to fire her, and that would be a bad thing.

P.S.: Ignore any of our typos. According to the female, it’s ‘too early in the morning to do jack shit.’ To which we replied, “Shut up and go to work.”

The Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) Starter Pack made USA Today’s best-seller list!

Thank you so much, readers! We are absolutely thrilled. This means we get treats!

Also, good job, human! Now, feed us our treats like we’re owed. No, I don’t care that you already gave us some treats today. We want more.

The female is very tired right now, and she’s used most of her energy refreshing USA Today’s website hoping and wishing and holding her breath… but hooray! Squee!

Tomorrow, life will go back to mostly normal. Mostly. I mean, this is the female we’re talking about here. She’s not really all that normal to begin with.

As she has leftover budget, and the male has ordered she use her budget (because it was given to her for a reason,) she is going to be trying to learn ads on bookbub this week and next week. She’s not expecting much of anything, truth be told, but it’ll be a good learning experience!

As she can’t, for the life of her, figure out how to make Bookbub ads work in her favor, she hired Melissa Storm to help teach her the ropes. She’s using a course Melissa wrote along with some help directly from Melissa due to being unable to actually watch the videos. Most people will be able to watch the videos and won’t need the extra help, but the female is slightly defective and has a very hard time with videos.

But, that said, the written material the female can use has been educative, and she’s starting to learn stuff. We’ll report back later with how it goes.

We, honestly, are expecting an unmitigated disaster, as that’s what usually happens when the female is learning something new.

Note: the female has a special hire arrangement with Melissa specifically because of her visual input issues, so the course experience will be different from you–the female is very sad she can’t do the videos very well. View it as having to compensate for a handicap. (Which it basically is, of the anxiety sort.)

Anyway, moving on!

Next week, the sequel to Playing with Fire releases! The female really hopes you enjoy Burn, Baby, Burn. If you haven’t and want to read more about Bailey & Quinn, please preorder now!

Happy reading, humans, and thank you so much for your support. It means a lot to us!!

All done! HOORAY!

Dear humans,

Normality can resume! Hooray! The human is very happy about this, as she hasn’t written hardly a thing in the past week. She’s itching to get back to what she likes doing the most: writing!

The stats from the vendors are in, and it looks like all of them should be reporting, which is thrilling! So exciting!

Her spend was scary, as on Saturday evening, the male human scolded the female for not spending more of her budget. So, she did this thing and spent more of her budget.

Total spent, rounded up for sake of sanity: $16,500. (Approximately $2.24 per US sale.)

Total USA Today qualifying sales: 7,374.

Total sales: 8,238.

Note: as the investments / tallies this week were for USA Today qualifying sales, that’s what the female used for giveaway purposes. (We love our international readers, but the goal was to try her bestest to hit this list with a book (or in this case, books) from the series.

As of this point, unless vendors don’t report, which we have seen happen, she has a very solid chance of listing!

She’s over the moon with excitement.

But first, there’s a few people the female would like to thank.

On the business side of things: my editor(s) and proofreaders: these books couldn’t happen without you.

To Melissa Storm: Thank you for spending the time to teach me your method of how to run blitz sales campaigns! I know we use different methods now, but your tutoring and help with one of my failed runs was hugely helpful! I learned a great deal from you, which made a big difference in being able to refine my personal method.

To those people I kept bugging in chat this week: thank you for your patience. (Cat, Erin, the poor editor lady… I’m looking at you.)

Finally, to the readers out there: thank you.

Without you, this had 0% chance of happening. Thank you for giving my books a shot. Thank you for sharing with your friends. Thank you for reading.

RJ here, as the felines have decided it is nap time. (Nap time happens after ‘get humans out of bed time.’) Let’s just say my kidneys have been thoroughly tenderized by rambunctious calico this morning.

While I am really hoping the set hits the list on Wednesday, I’m super happy with how well this worked out.

I’d been hoping to barely squeak by with 5,000 US sales. 7,374 far, far surpassed my expectations–and I didn’t spend the entirety of my budget.

Alas, according to the husband, I must spend more of my budget, but I will do that the week Burn, Baby, Burn releases. With some extra help from Melissa, I’m going to attempt to master the elusive bookbub ads. (The paid variety, not the featured deal variety.)

I’m not convinced my husband hasn’t been replaced by an alien, but the alien is a cool alien.

But all in all, this week surpassed my expectations in so many ways.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I hope the posts the cats have made on my behalf have been useful to you. Authors (and readers…) If you follow my personal profile on facebook, I occasionally do ‘Ask me Anything’ segments. This is the best place to find out more about how I function as a writer or ask general questions.

It’s also where to go for some daily doses of insanity.

Now, it’s back to the grind. Time to get back in the saddle and figure out how to do the writing thing since I’ve spent a full week monitoring and fussing with ads. (And stressing.)

Oh, as promised, this is the worst performing ad at $4.25 a click. (I spent $4.25 on that single click before turning off the ad.)

Ironically, I later duplicated that ad, and it became one of my top performers. I changed the header to “Final 24 hours of sale! $27.93 in books for $0.99.”

In future, I definitely need to make sure I do a final 24 hours of sale ad set, because they worked so much better than I anticipated.

Here’s the ad.

Would you like to help with the Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) Starter Pack sale?

Dear humans,

We’ve had requests to know more about how you can help with the human’s sale efforts.

As such, we’re taking a quick moment to write this note for you with how you can help!

On your social media venue of choice, post about the sale.

Here are the links:


Barnes & Noble:



Tell them the sale ends soon (End of day Sunday, May 5, 2019.)

The bundle is a value of $27.93 for $0.99.

You can also say the cute kitties would really appreciate it.

Thank you, humans!

Please enjoy this picture of me devouring the female’s flesh. She’s delicious.

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