We’re back with more books! Hoorah! We haven’t read any of the books featured today, so take your usual precautions. All these cool cats helped share Whatever for Hire and Grave Humor, for which we are very appreciative. The female has taken away our exclamation point. We find this annoying and distressing. How dare she?
Beastly Curse (Selene Drake.) Paranormal Romance. Contains adult-only smexy content. There seems to be a manback and tatts theme going on in this book faire. We’re totally okay with this, humans. Red is a good look on this particular manback. I think we should all take a few minutes to enjoy a sculpted manback. Human females are easily distracted. $3.99. Manback rating: 9.5/10.
A passionate fairy tale about a forbidden love and a curse that only true love can cure.
Love was never meant for a man like me until she stumbles into my forest. Isabelle Rose, with her jet black hair, mahogany skin, and intoxicating scent, called to me from miles away.
Blade is a beast of a man, a towering presence, a chiseled body, sharp fangs, and he runs with a pack of wolves. Wolves, my father helped kill. And I’m willing to trade my life for his.
My Belle… My Enemy… Our Love.
Is it possible that she’s the one to break the curse? That she can feel anything, other than fear, for a man like me?
But the moment I sense enemies lurking to reclaim my Belle, our differences don’t matter because there’s no way I’ll let them harm her. And I’m prepared to fight, hoping the solution isn’t to let her return to the real world leaving me to remain a beast forever.
Curse of the White Tiger (Mila Riggs.) This academy urban fantasy is written by the female’s buddy Melissa Storm. It releases on May 22, 2020. If academy is up your alley, this one might be for you. In other news, Melissa writes clean books, so if that’s your thing, you’ll get a break from the… color… people like the female fling into the books at leisure. It’s nice to escape the profanity and smexy sometime. $2.99.
You know that dream where you look down and find you’re naked in a very public place?
It actually happened to me on my last day of high school.
One second, clothes. The next—boom—naked.
And from the moment that my unlikely—and ultimately unpredictable—gift of invisibility showed itself, everything changed. Whether it was for the better, I still can’t say.
First, the men in black came to whisk me away to the Secret Academy, a special college for magic folk hidden in plain sight amidst the plains of rural Georgia. Then, I got to meet my new classmates. They, of course, had all been brought up in the magical world, while I never even knew it existed.
Now, with an overly friendly roommate and two hot-and-cold and very esoteric suitors, I can’t help but wonder if I’m the only one around this place who is actually being myself. In fact, my only true ally might be the captive white tiger that has decided to make me her pet.
Turns out the Secret Academy isn’t just hiding itself from humans. It’s hiding even more sinister mysteries within these ancient crumbling walls. And the more I discover, the more I’m starting to realize that I might be at the heart of these deadly secrets…
Who can I trust when I don’t even know whether I can trust myself?
Woman of Blood & Bone (Annie Anderson.) We’re here for this cover, humans. We like it. It’s moody, the font work is fun, and there’s just this nice splash of color. This is an urban fantasy fade-to-black type of book, so you probably won’t have to answer too many uncomfortable questions if your impressionable child were to pick it up and start reading it. Well, mostly. $2.99.
I was burned at the stake at fourteen…
I was drowned in a lake when I was twenty-four…
At twenty-seven, I was stoned in a public square…
I have died a hundred times in a hundred different ways, usually at the hands of the humans I’ve tried to save. But when a pregnant young woman finds her way into my tattoo shop with a demon on her tail, things go from bad to worse. Being a centuries-old witch isn’t going to help me – nothing will.
This time I might just die in a way that sticks… Permanently.
When Vamps Bite (Nicole Zoltack.) PG 13 with fade-to-black smexy times. We like the color blue. This cover has blue. We like the color purple. This cover also has purple. We are heavily color motivated today. $3.99. We’re pretty sure this contains vampires. Just a guess. Mhmmm. Vampires. Tasty when sun-baked.
Detective Clarissa Tempest is one of the best at sniffing out goons, but these particular goons seem to be the bloodsucking kind.
Vamps aren’t real, right? Of course not. But Clarissa knows what she’s seen. Unfortunately, she’s a little distracted, and her actions earn her a suspension. Great. Life is really looking up. Maybe her therapist is right. Maybe she’s under too much stress and is seeing things.
But then a vamp seeks her out, telling her to knock it off and leave them alone or else he’ll knock her off.
Clarissa isn’t the kind to back down, though. Hopefully, keeping Bethlehem safe won’t require her to lose a lot of blood.
We hope that you enjoyed today’s selection of books, humans! We will be back for more tomorrow.
In other news, the female should be working… she has been found playing SIMS4 again. In other other news, she did accomplish the bare minimum yesterday. Barely. Very barely.
Yeah. She wants to go back to playing SIMS4 again. She’s making a crazy tiny residence right now, and it has all sorts of fun outdoor activities in the courtyard. Unfortunately, it looks like something out of Harry Potter except not as charming. Oops.
That said, the female might try to make a magic alley residence with a manor house just to see if she can. That could be fun for the next lot… There could be a lot of people who live there! The female could make an epic sims household for that estate!
… Also, every time the female builds a house someone in the game moves in right away and this is REALLY weird because some of these houses are just awful, but fortunately, the AI doesn’t seem to mind.
When you hear crying next week that the female is really busy and stressed… you now know why.
(Enjoy the books, humans! There shall be more tomorrow.)