After many delays and general fuckery over at Audible, Water Witch is now available in audiobook format. It does contain Double Trouble, so don’t say you weren’t warned if you already bought Double Trouble.
As a reminder, after all contracted audiobooks are completed, we will not be producing future audiobooks unless Amazon recants its current return policies and provides accurate and thorough reporting on returns. (That’s right. Amazon is taking money from creators without giving statistics on how many returns there are, when books are being returned, how frequently they’re being returned, etc, etc, etc. They’re just retaking the money for up to a year following the purchase date.)
Their current recant, which limits the period to seven days instead of a year, is insufficient for the human to spend $2,000-$5,000 per audiobook in production fees, proof-listening, etc.
At current, it takes over a year for the female to earn back the fees from a single audiobook. This investment is too steep to be treated so poorly by the primary distributor/vendor of audiobooks, so the female is hanging up the hat on audiobooks. She cannot afford to subsidize between $24,000 to $60,000 a year in audiobooks at this point in time.
So, we’re sorry. We hope you’ve enjoyed the audiobooks that have been produced to date, and should Amazon change its practices, the female will re-evaluate at a later time. She just doesn’t have the required listener base to be able to continue making them, no matter how much she’d like to for ethical reasons.
It’s just too much investment.
At absolute most, she will consider producing the Vigilante Magical Librarians series in full should the first audiobook pay for its bills despite the issues plaguing Audible. Don’t hold your breath. We are not expecting much from Audible on this one.
You’d think they’d understand producers and creators would want an accounting of how much money Amazon is taking back from royalties through their refund policies, but apparently, creators are just a commodity to them, one to be stepped upon.
So, onto happier, better things. Today’s book fair!
The Gorgon Bride by Galen Surlak-Ramsey (Fantasy/Greek Mythology)
Purchase Link: Amazon (May be available at other retailers; not in Kindle Unlimited.)
Age Rating: N/A.
Note(s) from the Publisher: No notes on this one, humans!
THE GODS ARE FUNNY.
Except when you piss them off.
Then they suck.
They really, really suck.
Alexander Weiss discovers this tidbit when he inadvertently insults Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, and she casts him away on a forgotten isle filled with statues.
Being marooned is bad enough, but the fact that the island is also the home of Euryale, elder sister to Medusa, makes the situation a touch worse. The only thing keeping Alex from being petrified is the fact that Euryale has taken a liking to the blundering mortal.
What follows next is a wild, adventurous tale filled with heroes, gods, monsters, love, and war that is nothing short of legendary.
If you’re a fan of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams, or girls with snakes, this is the novel for you. Grab your copy today!
Our Thoughts: The cover art is absolutely stunning on this. We wish the typography (text) was a little bigger and easier to read and worked with the available space better, but the actual artwork on this is just delightful. We would totally buy a textless version of the poster of this one.
This one goes onto the list of books to consider at a later day, when the female actually has time to read.
Shimmer by Sharon Ashwood (Fantasy Romance)
Purchase Link: Amazon (Kindle Unlimited)
Age Rating: 18+
Note(s) from the Publisher: 18+ due to sexual content.
Three wishes, two warriors, one chance at redemption
Fae martial artist Alana Beech demands justice when her teammate dies during a rigged fight, but no one cares. Injured and alone, Alana is forced to accept a last-chance job at a curiosity shop. There she finds a magic lamp—and a spark of hope—in a box of abandoned junk.
Ronan is a dragon prince imprisoned during the destruction of the fae homeland. He’s the genie bound to the lamp and forced to grant three wishes to every comer. As handsome as he is hazardous, Ronan joins Alana’s search for answers.
While their alliance turns passionate, Alana’s quest reveals a mystery that goes far beyond murder. The lamp is a lethal weapon, and Ronan’s enemies are on the hunt. Alana will do anything to guard her lover’s back, but sometimes a warrior’s courage—like the genie’s wishes—carries an unexpected price.
SHIMMER is for readers who like strong heroines, compelling heroes, and fast-pace action with a fairy tale twist. Don’t miss this first-in-series novel.
Our Thoughts: We like the colors of this cover. They’re pretty. We are puzzled by the modern apparel in a fantasy romance, but hey, if they have modern textiles, good for them! This looks Aladdin meets Dragons, and really? We like that sort of fun. We do wish the fonts were easier to read, though. The poor female’s eyes are old and tired.
In other news, the female cleaned her desk this morning. For no reason other than she could.
We hope you find something interesting to read today, humans.