March 29, 2020: In Which the Female Tried to Teleport Us All into 2030. She tried, we’re sorry she failed.

Dear humans,

Have a picture of my sister laying claim to the new hammock cat tree. This one is hers, and it goes where the male usually works during the day. My sister has, however, decided to sit near me while I work on this missive for your enjoyment.

In my hammock.

Bitch.

Anyway, the female has made a to-do list. It is rather scary. She really wants to hit her word count goal for the day, as it will get her substantially closer to her goal for March! (She might even conquer March today if all goes well, which would put everything else as extra.)

She did adjust her word count goals on some projects, which made her March goal a little easier to reach. When she finishes a project, she will lower that project’s goal if she wrote below the target. It is a reward for the rest of the year, as it’s less she’s projected as having to write. We don’t discuss what happens if she writes over her goal.

That’s Bad Territory, humans.

For those who don’t follow her public facebook feed, she posted the following, which we find to be endlessly amusing:

My current comfort food: microwaved baked potatoes.

I also have CARROTS. CARROTS, people! We had been to the grocery store like five times since the plague started, and we finally got CARROTS!

The time before the last run, the grocery store had one sad desiccated carrot. The Beard did not buy the singular, sad desiccated carrot.

I have to figure out what I’m doing with my precious carrots now that I have them. I love carrots. The Beard does not love carrots.

More carrots for me.

I’m also showing evidence of possessiveness over the potatoes, too.

We have a lot of rice. I need to start using a little rice each day with our meals. Mhmm rice. We like rice here. With some butter. We have butter.

I have milk.

Life is mostly good.

Onto the not-good part: allergies are hell, which means I’m in the time of year where I may or may not catch something and can’t tell if I’m actually sick because of the allergies.

In today’s game of Allergies or Plague: Coughing, congestion, more coughing.

In other news, the coffee is helping the cough, so it’s probably allergies and morning dehydration. I’m very bad about waking up dehydrated despite drinking like a fish before bed. I suspect I pee like an entire herd of cattle in the middle of the night and lick salt or something in my sleep.

Hack hack cough cough. Whee.

The Female, on Facebook

Today’s song of the day: Bon Jovi’s Superman Tonight, possibly with some Sha-la-la hey thrown in. Female likes repeat. It doesn’t get in the way of her braining on books.

She is going to be avoiding people because people are driving her insane. Reasons for the insanity are being withheld for the sake of her sanity.

For today’s book review, we bring Magic Kingdom For Sale Sold! to the table. This is the first of the Landover books, and the female loves them for their insanity and general lack of care for conventions, especially during the time they were written. She has a signed copy of this one somewhere. Where that somewhere is is a very good question, but this was definitely a pivotal book for her.

It was one of the first fantasy humor books she read. And while it’s not quite as ridiculous as some other fantasy humor books out there, especially in modern times, this one definitely paved a few streets in terms of the female’s development of humor.

The female really needs to go back and read this one again soon.

Have a great day, folks. The female now needs the computer so she can make the writing magic happen.

~The Furred & Frond Management

P.S.: We are encouraging the female to continue experimentations with time travel, and she first intends to go back to 2019 and apologize for all the mean things everyone said about it.