When someone steals Diana’s cat, a former lab animal rescued from death’s door, she calls on one of the most dangerous beings in the universe for help. Cutting a deal with the devil isn’t the smartest move, but there’s no way in hell she’ll abandon Mr. Flooferson the Magnificent to his fate.
Teaming up with the son of a demon, an angel, and one hell of a woman might push Diana to the limits of her courage and sanity. Unless she wants to sell her soul to the devil, she must cope with her new partner, make the most of a bad situation, and find out who stole her cat and why.
What she learns will forever change humanity—and lead to a battle destined to forever change the heavens and the devil’s many hells.
Releasing May 11, 2021. (Catnapped is the birthday book of 2021!) (Links are displayed in case you do wish to share with a friend.)
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/catnapped-r-j-blain/1137023147?ean=2940162894155
We’re excited, humans.
The female has already started this book, and she’s just having a grand time with it! If you like books like Whatever for Hire, Grave Humor, and Playing with Fire… this one is going to have similarities with all of the above. (Although Diana’s doohickey will be of a triad bent, although he definitely comes with some fun quirks! You’ll like him. If you like Emerick, you’ll really like him.)
The female will be attempting a USA Today run on Catnapped, because that book deserves it. (and the female deserves a chance to at least try for it.)
If you want to help, here are a few things you can do:
1: Preorder. (While Amazon preorders are hugely needed, Barnes & Noble and Apple preorders are also critical. If she doesn’t get enough of those, she won’t qualify.)
2: Shelve the book as something you want to read on goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53417928-catnapped
3: If you aren’t pre-ordering, please wishlist the book on Amazon.
4: Tell your friends!
P.S.: Here is a very early (and unedited) sneak peek for your enjoyment.
From Chapter One
Someone had taken Mr. Flooferson the Magnificent, and when I got my hands on the culprit, they would know the true meaning of fear. As my cat feared the outdoors, strangers, and anything that reminded him of his former life as a lab animal, there was no way in hell he would’ve left the comforts of home without the use of force. I couldn’t even convince him to meet me at the door. He cried pitifully from the safety of the couch, some ten feet away, until I came into his domain and he could reassure himself I hadn’t left him like every other human in his life.
No, unlike every other human in his life, I showed him love without pain. In the shelter hosting the retired lab animals, he’d been the saddest of the lot, so terrified the shelter operators considered putting him out of his misery because no one wanted the scared ones, the ones who couldn’t charm unsuspecting humans.
Mr. Flooferson should have been on the couch waiting for me, but my door had been kicked in, the lock broken beyond repair, and someone had turned the place apart and left with my cat had his fleece-lined carrier.
Had the bastard left my cat’s carrier, I might have believed my baby had run out of fear.
I cracked my knuckles one by one, scowled, and considered my options. The police would need to come over and check everything over. After the police, I would begin using every contact I could. While I was only a secretary within the CDC, secretaries held power.
We talked to the big wigs, the wealthy, the powerful, and earned their respect so I could smooth paths for my bosses, who needed to work with people all around the world.
I had the devil himself on speed dial, and I wasn’t afraid of using his wife to get what I wanted. While I wouldn’t cut a deal with the devil, I’d find a way to make him do my bidding.
Nobody, and I meant nobody, would hurt my cat and get away with it.
I retrieved my cell from my purse and called the non-emergency line for the police, explaining that my home had been broken into and the thieves had stolen my cat and his carrier. My concern about my pet made the cop laugh, but he said he’d send someone over as soon as there was someone available.
All right. If the cops wanted to play games, I’d play.
I dialed the devil, and if Satan gave me a hard time, I’d go straight to his wife and show him his little layer of hell had a new owner until my cat was safely home.
“Good evening, Diana. It’s after hours, and you never work overtime unless the world is at a literal risk of ending. We aren’t scheduled for the End of Days at this moment. As I’m far too lazy to peek, what can I do for you?”
“You can help me find who stole my cat, flay the flesh from their bones, toss them into whatever the nastiest pit of your hells is, and give me a fiery whip so I can have some fun with the fuckers.”
I gave the devil as much time as he needed to identify he spoke to a crazy chick on a mission to murder some thieving assholes.
“Have you forgotten who I am, Diana?”
“I absolutely called you fully aware of who and what you are, and if you could put Darlene on the line if you’re not willing to help me find my cat, it would save me making a few other phone calls and knocking on your door in an hour. If I have to knock on your door in an hour, I’m going to redefine hellfire for you. And if someone says it’ll be a cold day in hell first, I’ll come there and break all of your windows.”
“That’s harsh for my electric bill.”
“As if you actually pay it. Assistance or put Darlene on the phone, Lucifer. Jack shit is up for negotiation today. Someone stole my cat.”
With many purrs,
~Zazzle and Princess