Dear humans,
The female washed her hair last night. She found the necessary spoon to eradicate the rabid grease weasel. She completed her transformation into a rabid squirrel, as her hair went POOF and apparently, static electricity is real, and so is the disaster that is her head. But not all is lost, humans.
She didn’t have any knots.
We are considering this to be a miracle.
In other news, the female now has 3 active cross-stitch projects littering her desk of various complexities. She works on the bookmark when progress would be nice. She works on her fox when she hates herself. She works on the third project, a landscape, when she has lost all grasp of common sense. (The pattern is 12 pages long plus the legend.) The first color has 1,500 stitches.
RIP female, it was nice knowing you. Just get undead from your shenanigans by breakfast.
Onto the book faire!
Imps & Angels by Indra Frost (Urban Fantasy)
Purchase Link: Amazon (Kindle Unlimited)
Price: $4.99
Age Rating: Mature Audiences due to violence and abuse themes.
Note(s) from the Publisher: Includes swearing, violence, and potentially triggering subject matter, such as abuse.
If you were given the chance to free your soul, even at the cost of your life, would you take it?
All her life Alyth has been sold from one demon to another, bound through blood and contracts against her will.
When five men enter her life – one with the promise of freedom, and the other four willing to help take down her current master – she must decide who she’s willing to trust and how far she’s willing to go.
But the stakes get higher when a lord of Hell comes to claim her for himself. Now it’s not just a matter of trusting them, but one of life and death.
Will she be left at the mercy of her master? Or will she be left to the demon that wants to own her, mind, body, and soul?
Warning: This is a full-length slow burn reverse harem fantasy/paranormal romance. It features one strong woman, and the five men determined to help her save her soul. It contains violence, torture, strong language, magic, angels, vampires, shifters, and a villain set on making sure she doesn’t find happiness. This is the first book in The Hell Gate series and it should be read in order.
Our Thoughts: We really like this cover. Hair envy has downed the female. She’s crying in the corner. Her rabid grease weasel hair is already stirring, waiting to strike. The static seems to have fainted, so it lies limp, playing dead and waiting to rise from the dead as a grease zombie.
But the colors on this cover are nice, the typography is attractive, and the cover promises a supernatural romp of some sort. Full points for the cover doing its job, hooray! Pretty, pretty!
Female, female… stop crying in the corner. If the rabid grease weasel hair bothers you, you have scissors. Use them. It’s not like you need to worry about anyone seeing your hair. Silly human.
Corsets and Quartets by Mercy Desimones (Contemporary Reverse Harem Romance)
Purchase Link: Amazon (Kindle Unlimited)
Price: $3.99
Age Rating: 18+
Note(s) from the Publisher: Contains sex and is meant for mature audiences.
Ready for a modern girl’s road to unconventional romance after 40?
Josie always dreamed of following in Jane Austen’s footsteps. Instead, she’s surrounded by snarky queens, sullen teens, and stuck in a retail job that’s sucking her dry. With her dream of a writing career and her professional life at a standstill, her best friend suggests (ok, nags) that what she needs is to turn up the heat with some new inspiration… especially if that includes filling her dance card with more than one sexy, eligible man at a time.
When real life challenges you to write you own story…
“All I wanted was a normal guy—one who didn’t come with broken equipment. And even though I thought online dating was a last resort, instead it turned out to be only the beginning. It’s not like I was some damsel who needed a man to save me, but sometimes we all need a little help from our friends. That’s where things got really complicated.
It started with two truths and a lie—and ended with three insistent men who refused to linger in the friend’s zone. What happens when you choose the unconventional road to romance without a map? You better watch for blind spots and buckle up for a bumpy ride!”
1 ♥ Over 40, Curvy girl trying to find balance
1 ♥ DILF Veterinarian into some heavy petting
1 ♥ Yummy Chef who knows how to turn up the heat in the kitchen
1 ♥ Sexy aging Rock Star trying to find his rhythm
♥♥ add 1 finicky feline + 1 devoted dog and it all = 1 lovable mess
Our Thoughts: Oh, hey. It’s a real human on the cover. We approve. We also like her bling, and we hope that’s hot apple cider in the cup, because honestly, we could use a lot more hot cider in the world right now. It’s tasty.
In other news… the female saw something hot cider in the grocery store, wasn’t thinking, and grabbed it. They’re k-cups. We do not own a brewer that uses k-cups. tea bags work questionably well.
The sketchy shit she’ll do for food…. it’s disturbing, humans.
And whatever you do, don’t ask about the ham.
Project: Adapt Found by Jade Waltz (Space Fantasy Alien Romance)
Purchase Link: Amazon (Kindle Unlimited)
Price: $2.99
Age Rating: 18+
Note(s) from the Publisher: Surprise Pregnancy! Plus sexy funtimes.
A failed human prototype. That’s all she is…
Born and raised as an experiment, Selena’s life has been filled with torture, betrayal, and distrust… but one night changes everything.
Sold, attacked, and on the run, Selena is picked up by a colony ship. Struggling to find her place on this ship and trying to understand the draw she feels toward two alien males, her already uncertain life becomes downright unimaginable when she learns new life is growing inside her.
Terrified her captors will find her and take her and her children back to a life of horror and captivity, she must learn to trust her saviors, and herself.
With the help of her two mates, Selena will fight for her freedom—or die trying.
Our Thoughts: We really like this cover. The colors! The typography! The cat eyes! The haaaaiiirr. Meow.
We don’t like menage, so this one isn’t for the female, but for those of you menage or reverse harem lovers… this one might be for you!
P.S.: The female wants that lipstick, and she doesn’t even wear lipstick.
We hope you find something that looks interesting to you.
The female is now returning to work to do the work thing, because the werewhores werewolves will not write themselves.
Woot!! You won! Grave Humor was the number one pick!!
Can’t get pass the “rabid grease weasel hair!” You’re cracking me up!!
I feel your rabid grease-weasel pain! It’s winter here, the air is cold & really dry so my hair is in 1 of 3 states: 1)freshly washed, 2)full of static, or 3)flat & greasy looking…with a side of static! Because I don’t want to wash it everyday, or the static is completely out of control! But that 2nd day, it’s hard to get it to be anything but flat & kinda greasy looking (it’s not, but it looks that way, grumble grumble)