Dear humans,
The female’s assistant, Jenny, has come forth with comments, questions, and so on! We are here to answer them. (With askers names and confidential information removed.)
The female will try to do personalized responses to the important ones as soon as she scrapes up the energy, but she does not have a great deal of energy right now.
1: Do you have signed copies for sale?
Short answer: no. Not precisely.
Long answer: I do giveaways, and sometimes I have extra signed bookplates. COVID has made signed copies difficult, and the shipping fees get ridiculous. That said… signed bookplates are a possibility.
2: Audiobooks?
Short Answer: Working on it.
Long Answer: ACX released the female from contract. She has come up with an arrangement with her producer. It will be 14-20 business days for ACX to finalize the release from contract. Findaway voices is working with the female to make sure everybody is happy during the transition. There will be a blog post with future releases forthcoming.
Because the female will not be scalped with refunds/’exchanges’/ACX theft, she is going to do a limited test to see if it becomes viable to produce future audiobooks.
Murder Mittens and Outfoxed are currently contracted. A Chip on Her Shoulder is … in proofing corrections? I think. Frankly, I’m not sure anymore. It’ll be done… soon? I think.
Update: I forgot to hit a button to make the process continue. This has been corrected. Soon applies. When is soon? Hell if I know. But it’s soon.
I am expecting most of the non-wide audiobooks to hit markets starting on March 1, 2021. I’m already in progress of uploading them, but it’s a process. I’m trying to do one or two a day until the entire collection is completed, so hopefully by then, I’ll be able to do a nice blog post with a complete set of links to where the audiobooks can be purchased. I’ll also be trying to set up the website to have better audiobook browsing. And update the ebook reading orders, etc.
Only so many spoons, only so much time… and I’m still working on writing books, to.
3: What books are coming out next?
The next guaranteed release is Catnapped in May. It has a super fun cast. (Hint: Belial is back. So is Satin. Some other familiar faces might show up, too. But I’m only confirming Belial and Satin at this point in time.) You can preorder Catnapped at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Apple Books.
I am currently working on two Royal States novels: Runaway: A Royal States Novel & The Vampire of Montana: An Agents of the Royal States Novel. Vampire will probably release before Runaway. The Editor Lady has already started working on Vampire. I am undecided on if there will be a preorder, or if I will simply show true hate for all of my fans and just fling it into the wilds without warning or commentary until all links are live.
I’m an asshole like that.
I am also working on Unawakened, the second Dae Portals novel. Murder Floof (Bernadette Franklin) is also receiving some love.
There is currently no ETA on any of these books except Catnapped. Life has been hard lately.
4: How is the Beard doing?
Good. Too good. I’m too tired to deal with how good he’s feeling. He needs to calm his happy ass down and pretend he’s sick or something. I’m exhausted. He’s a probable leech, siphoning away all of my energy.
5: Anything new and exciting?
I need a footrest and a new office chair.
6: But what about that massager??
So, my back has been HUGELY helped by this massager doohickey. (Yes, yes, I am totally using affiliate links in this post.) This little shit is The Pain Bringer of It Hurts So Fucking Good AAAAAAAHHHH OH FUCK ME.
Yeah. I can’t recommend this massager enough. It is why I have restored mobility to my neck. And it works just about anywhere. Just be careful with it. Ignore that spot about “don’t use if it causes pain.” Because honestly? The instant that thing finds a knot, you will enter orbit. Possibly while screaming.
And by the time it is done, the knot will be much looser and life gets better.
It is heated. It operates in 15 minute timed intervals. You will scream, cuss, and threaten death on it. But it works.
We loves it, precious.
The Pain Bringer, however, does not take hostages. It goes for the throat like it means it.
:whispers: It hurts so good.
The Beard has become resigned to the random shrieks of “OH FUCK ME NOOOOOOOOOOO” coming from my work area. Because that’s what happens when the power button is pressed and it locates a knot.
But it works. Best investment I’ve made in a long damned time.
I’m pretty sure I forgot stuff, but I’m really hungry so I’m going to make food.
Please enjoy this random picture of the perfect avocado I recently ate.
So many good things! Happy to hear that people are getting better.
I laughed out loud about the massager :).
I have that massager and I can’t definitely confirm that it is the bringer of pain that hurts sooooooooo gooooooooooddddddd!
I’d really like to get one of those massagers! Thanks.
So glad the Beard is doing well. I’ve had more than my share of ambulance rides in the past few years. It’s never fun. (Although the first ride I took, my now-grown son was 8. He asked if they ran the sirens for me.) I’m looking forward to the Royal States books, whenever you get them out.
that good i hope i reorder 2 u do please
I do love Avocado. My hubby, John does get them and cuts them in half and gives me some.
As much as I appreciate pre-orders, I will admit that I do a search on Amazon at least twice a week just to see if I have missed any of your books. LOL. I guess I could be considered a stalker?
PS That is one good looking avocado. I never pick ripe ones. The ones I pick are always not ripe. Even though they look ripe. Tricky bastards.